A Spiritual Lesson by Shelly StarZZ

i have returned from another vacation. i did Not feel good about this trip at all......... i felt it down to my bones. i did not know what it could be, Finally I heard the whispers,,, "Do Not be Gone Long Child"says The Blue Lady...... But, i have no choice, my husband had made plans to visit North Carolina. and had told my family we were coming, to many hearts would be broken if i canceled.

the drive to Atlanta was one of the best drives i have ever experienced. we went through Cincinnati around 10pm, it was one of the most amazing cities i have ever seen in the night. Cincinnati looks like a city floating in the sky at night, it was an awesome site. we made our way to Atlanta where my husband's family lives. i thought i would be a nervous wreck around them, but i was fine, valium is a god send for me sometimes. it just bumps that edge off from being around people, especially my husband's family. it has been 9 years and a Phoenix later and i still dont feel comfortable around them.

the hotel in atlanta was very nice. we had a full kitchen and all the fun stuff. i was even able to work on a couple of my projects here and there.
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in the back of the hotel was the beautiful pond. we took Phoenix for a walk around the pond everyday. i enjoyed the solitude of the hotel room in the afternoon, Phoenix would take a nap, and it was just silent. the silence is sometimes my favorite sound.
i found myself getting sad, our visit in Atlanta ended...
we were back on the road again, and on our way to North Carolina. as i got closer to Home, i found myself getting excited, maybe just to see my Boys..... who in the world knows

we made it to my mother's house. and the Phoenix went full throttle. my mother has things everywhere in her house for the Phoenix to get into, and Believe me when i tell you, he lives up to his given name to the tee. Amazing, he was so curious about every little item in the house. even the poor little cockatiels . Phoenix not fearing anything reached his hands up to the cage and grabbed the cockatiel by the tail and started pulling at his feathers. my jaw dropped......
Phoenix really enjoyed the strawberry patch. his granny took him to her strawberry patch and let him do whatever he wanted. when she brought him inside, Phoenix was covered from head to toe with strawberry stained hands and face,,,,, His clothes, Oh His clothes, Simple GREEN got the stains out. amazing

I could feel my parents feeling a little edgy about being around Phoenix. I felt it very strongly, he is just a curious little guy. and Phoenix lets you know Loudly when he is unhappy, he is awesome.

from that point on it just felt like everything was going South....

my poor sweet cody chamara............... it was bitter sweet but he came back home to me....
my son is a bit different than most people, and people have known it since he was a small child.
and being different sometimes freightens people.
People fear What They Do not Understand.....
i have heard that phrase since beginning of time



he was coming home to me anyway, but his step mother could not get rid of him fast enough, the Step Mother and all her wickedness couldnt wait 8 days until both of my boys were coming up to columbus ohio anyway........ NOPE, she wanted him out while i was in north carolina. the Step Mother called my son WEIRDO and Freak over and over, and he could not take it any more. the Torture was so Bad My Son Gave up his 8th grade concert, his 8th grade graduation, he didnt even get a chance to say good bye to any of his friends..

the saddness i feel for my cody chamara could not fill a thousand holes

All this drama is unfolding at my mother's. usually my mother's home is so serene...... i did not wish to bring such negative energy in her Home. i reminded her to sage the house it was that wild.......

finally we are packed and ready to come home, packing the car was not easy, we drove the suzuki for good gas mileage, not much room in that car. but managed.......

it is a long drive home, i think i hate that drive the most ever.... newbern to columbus,,,,
we get almost home, and my husband gets another speeding ticket...
thank god i think to myself, i am medicated, because our was ....................

finally we are coming home, we pulled up to our house... and my friend and next door neighbor
SANDY,
Her House had Burned Down...... Bless her heart, the gods and angels were with her that evening the house caught fire. you see, she is sandy, my friend that is a quadriplegic was alone in her house in the bed, she couldnt move. thank god she has a life alert button. i was told the firefighters arrived in seven minutes, and had her out of her burning home... save and sound

i went to visit her today, Sandy is staying in a nice wheel chair accessible hotel. but the poor thing doesnt have a wheelchair. it was destroyed in the fire........ i wish the insurance people would hurry,

i feel so guilty about leaving for so long for a vacation that i really didnt want to
go on..... i remember hearing it over and over...... Do Not Be Gone Long Child......

Sandy will rebuild her home, and once again i will have a friend next door again........

life gives us moments when omens and prophecies are jabbing us right in our minds and spirits. why did i choose to ignore the warning signs??????? i knew it was coming, "THe Blue LADY"
came right to me with her whispers. my spirituality grows stronger everyday...... i learn spiritual lessons everyday......... i dont know if scored to high on that spiritual lesson.... or maybe i did... i just need to listen to The Blue Lady, which i did........ even though i was given the whispers, the omens, there was nothing i could do. my son was in need of his mother and i was there for him, but i was fairly warned with what was to come. i could not change what was to be................

I have Cast a Love SpeLL

w hen i was just beginning to learn to cast spells, i let my ego get in the way, and did something unthinkable as a witch. i was like a new toy with different gadgets, i had to try every gadget out.
so, how does this work?, i thought "love spells"
well, i wasnt interested in anyone,
i needed to find someone to put the spell on??? i know, i was young....
i happened to find this guy at work, but the funny thing, the guy was gay
could i possibly pull this off? hmmm, he is pretty cute i thought.
i imagined him day and night
the spell was cast...........
ever mind the rule of three
with love and faith
it will come to thee
next thing i know, i started hanging out with him
and all he could imagine was me,
day and night
i started recieving calls , he started following me around like a puppy dog, remember we worked together, so, after he had a wisdom tooth extracted he insisted on seeing me. it really got out of had.
what had i done?
it was insane, i had to make a call to my cousin to see if there was anything i could do to break this spell,,, HE says, A SPELL ALWAYS HAS TO RUN ITS COURSE.......
well, the spell ran its course alright, right into a broken heart for both of us
so, for all the witches thinking about casting a love spell,
spell casting is a stepping stone in our spirituality
one we will cross one way or another.
and i am still trying out my new gadgets ever learning
as you will too

love and light

MY Crystal Baby

i imagined you long ago inside my mind, and in my dreams i hugged and kissed you a thousand times.

you all i ever i wanted, you were the only thing i dreamed of for eight years. the days would pass and i would see children i thought you might would look like. beautiful brown eyes with long dark eyelashes. skin as brown as a coconut.

i tried so desperately to get you here. i longed to see the sunlight in your hair.

Now, you are here,

your hair glistens in the sunlight, your eyes are so brown i feel you peeking through to my soul. you observe the world as i knew you would.

sometimes i feel my heart will over flow, but it just flows right through to the Phoenix and back again. an energy so striking for a child of 14 months. he doesnt speak much, but tells me everything i need to know.
i can see it in his smile
how much he loves the world
i wonder about this Crystal Baby my Phoenix.. Destiny will Tell
I want to start by Saying I LOVE YOU

I'M Still THE ONe

the other day something incredible happened. my neighbor's niece came by to see a painting that a friend had painted for me for my birthday. it is a painting of Nefertiti herself. i would have to say it was one of the most special birthday presents i have ever received. i could tell my friend painted it for me with great love.

my neighbor's niece, come to find out has a special place in my heart. i never had laid eyes on her until that moment. i knew her sister, baby girl terri, and her mother, a beautiful light skin woman. i had heard over and over about MI MI. MI MI is the very same age has the baby Phoenix. I had spoke to Sandy for months about MI MI. and terri comes to see me at least once once a week. but there was a missing key. it was the ringing of my door bell and the special painting that brought the Angel to me. the Angel was MI MI's mama. the circle was complete.

From the Moment i laid eyes on the Angel, the Blue Lady whispers in my ear, Child she needs Guidance. and you and only you can give her the Peace she so desperately needs. if even for a moment....
What do I do? its has been so long? it has been over 3 years since i have spiritually guided anyone. the BLUE Lady replies. your energy has been with you since there has been stars in the Heavens. Child, this isnt about you, your journey is to help others with their spiritual selfs, whether it be any religion or belief, your guidance will lead many to a peace within themselves they did not know existed.

The Angel sits with me for what feels like spiritual bliss. i have explained to the Angel things that i spiritually guided her to, i simply can not remember, it was for her and her alone.

During the visit i felt the need to pull my classic Rider-Waite Tarot Deck. unbelievable but that gift hasnt left me either. i think the most amazing part of the session was using the ENCHANTED SPELL BOARD. it is very similiar to the ouija board but the spiritual connection was intense, i felt like i was channeling. Amazing.

I hope the Angel will return soon, she restored my confidence that i had lost so long ago.

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The Tight Rope

everyday of my life, from the time i awake in the morning. as soon as my feet touch the floor i am walking on a circus Tight Rope.
if i take just one tiny step off balance and my sane small unimportant world dissolves ME. almost like the wicked witch of the west in the wizard of oz. I'M MELTING.. but i melt into the realm of insanity. when i am lucky sometimes my tiny steps off balance lead me to the Land Of Faire.
The Land of Faire is a wonderful realm in my mind and spirit. The Land of Faire is the most magickal world of the Fairies. i have been told by The Blue Lady that long ago i once lived there, along with her and my father. Helios
i remember from visions long ago the room where the Blue Lady sat upon her Crystal Thrown. i have sat on the Crystal Thrown with her many times. Mostly in times of my tears, sorrow, and losses. The Blue Lady would hold me in her arms with the most spiritual powerful love one could ever imagine. BLUE DIVINITY.. the most beautiful gifts i have learned in this realm, the ability to summon the fairies. "Fairies there Are. Fairies they shall be. I Summon you 1 2 3.

But then there is the Cruel other Realm i fall into when i fall off the tight Rope. it is not safe. i fall continuously with an end no where insight i fall and i fall and no one is there to catch me. i break, i crumble i reach for a knife to make it go away. it doesnt. Where is my Blue Lady to catch me. she hasnt heard my cry.
what is to happen to a schizophrenic when none of your voices are there to help.. i have exhausted them as i have exhausted myself.

oh, wait a minute. SHHHHHHHH she is coming??? OH MY Blue Lady where have you been?? i have a cut on my wrist, sadly.. i lost control and fell off THe Tight Rope and i went to a place that i should not have been.. i cry, i cry, as i realize i have no control of my mind. Help me PLEASE , BLUE LADY

THe BLue Lady replies " CHILD, you have been with me since there have been stars in the Heavens.... Balance and Balance alone will keep you safe. The BLUE LADY embraces me with her Love, once again. i am at a balance. i dont know how much longer it will last. but i shall pray next time i fall i will be in The Land of Faire....... where the fairies are...........

Will you Wonder?

when i get there i will know. i am split between the worlds. there is a sign on a wall. it says , Will you Wonder?
my spirit is crying.
in my thoughts i have heard voices in the midst. i often meditate in this strange realm of my mind, it contains so many people. who are these people who keep existing in my mind?.. i know there are two i can follow.
either i am a schizophrenic
or i am truly spiritual.
i am healer. i have a touch,,
i am split once again.
i feel you Blue Lady. i feel your presence.
the Blue Lady says. If you listen you will know..........