dancing in a fire

i tell you, some times i need someone to listen. but i feel i stand alone most of the time. i have tried taking care of myself the best i can......
Fibromyalgia has been kicking my ass lately. i have been going to water therapy and that was pretty awesome. who knew?? another thing that has been bothering me is my B-12 deficiency. my nerves were literally sizzling. I felt like i had electricity vibrating through my body, like i was dancing in a fire. i remember laying in bed one night before this flare began. I woke up to my entire body feeling like fire was flowing through my me. this could have been a spiritual experience i felt like i could have moved mountains with this fire power. look now, look around. voices and other sounds, can you see me now?
well, to sum all that up, i have to give myself b-12 shots. Clear the way for me.
you know your something special, but who knows what, i just shine when i can..
to all the billion souls out there, the life you've been given, can be grand, sometimes it doesnt seem that way. look at yourself, you make me feel alive. luck has always been on your side. i dont need to understand this. i cant put any better.

the winter is coming to the mountains. save me from the reminders,, i feel the sun fading away.. it is lonely here. my world is different.


in her i know i am one

Autism Sucks

well, the intervention team believes my Crystal has Autism.
Phoenix's teacher asks me how i feel about the possibility of Autism.
I said to her, Autism Spectrum Disorder is such a broad term, he probably does fall somewhere in the Spectrum. But let's see... as i spoke, i felt my heart sinking, i guess she is trying to prepare me.. I dont know...
Phoenix can talk, sure he has speech delay. but, if you listen, he sings.. and sings. I remember visiting with my sister, she said to me.. " is he singing"
He sings all the time.. My two year old is not talking or communicating the way the medical community deems fit.. Phoenix does communicate with me. But i cant tell his doctor or speech therapist of his mental communication.


in her i know i am one