The Tight Rope

everyday of my life, from the time i awake in the morning. as soon as my feet touch the floor i am walking on a circus Tight Rope.
if i take just one tiny step off balance and my sane small unimportant world dissolves ME. almost like the wicked witch of the west in the wizard of oz. I'M MELTING.. but i melt into the realm of insanity. when i am lucky sometimes my tiny steps off balance lead me to the Land Of Faire.
The Land of Faire is a wonderful realm in my mind and spirit. The Land of Faire is the most magickal world of the Fairies. i have been told by The Blue Lady that long ago i once lived there, along with her and my father. Helios
i remember from visions long ago the room where the Blue Lady sat upon her Crystal Thrown. i have sat on the Crystal Thrown with her many times. Mostly in times of my tears, sorrow, and losses. The Blue Lady would hold me in her arms with the most spiritual powerful love one could ever imagine. BLUE DIVINITY.. the most beautiful gifts i have learned in this realm, the ability to summon the fairies. "Fairies there Are. Fairies they shall be. I Summon you 1 2 3.

But then there is the Cruel other Realm i fall into when i fall off the tight Rope. it is not safe. i fall continuously with an end no where insight i fall and i fall and no one is there to catch me. i break, i crumble i reach for a knife to make it go away. it doesnt. Where is my Blue Lady to catch me. she hasnt heard my cry.
what is to happen to a schizophrenic when none of your voices are there to help.. i have exhausted them as i have exhausted myself.

oh, wait a minute. SHHHHHHHH she is coming??? OH MY Blue Lady where have you been?? i have a cut on my wrist, sadly.. i lost control and fell off THe Tight Rope and i went to a place that i should not have been.. i cry, i cry, as i realize i have no control of my mind. Help me PLEASE , BLUE LADY

THe BLue Lady replies " CHILD, you have been with me since there have been stars in the Heavens.... Balance and Balance alone will keep you safe. The BLUE LADY embraces me with her Love, once again. i am at a balance. i dont know how much longer it will last. but i shall pray next time i fall i will be in The Land of Faire....... where the fairies are...........