bring back the sun

the dark time of the year has returned. there is hardly no night. hardly no light.
why must i accept this dark time of energy.
i want to shake it down to the ground, i feel so wobbly wobbly wobbly. the energy is beyond me. my arms feel like there is a current of electric fire pouring through me. my brain is sizzling..
how could this happen to me. what's this all about.
my three year old consumes me. he hypnotizes me with his eyes.
he has autism with hyper sensory disorder. i believe he can have anything that his heart desires.
he is one of the crystal children.
maybe i should get down on my knees and pray. dreaming and praying. of what. i knew that my son would not be normal. i knew he would be different, just how different. i did not know.
i wish i could be somewhere warm. i already miss the warmth of the sun. the dark time of the year makes my body worn down. i feel so wicked. mean and evil.
bring back my son.

in her i know i am one