Autism Sucks

well, the intervention team believes my Crystal has Autism.
Phoenix's teacher asks me how i feel about the possibility of Autism.
I said to her, Autism Spectrum Disorder is such a broad term, he probably does fall somewhere in the Spectrum. But let's see... as i spoke, i felt my heart sinking, i guess she is trying to prepare me.. I dont know...
Phoenix can talk, sure he has speech delay. but, if you listen, he sings.. and sings. I remember visiting with my sister, she said to me.. " is he singing"
He sings all the time.. My two year old is not talking or communicating the way the medical community deems fit.. Phoenix does communicate with me. But i cant tell his doctor or speech therapist of his mental communication.


in her i know i am one

crystal he is

once again with a new doctor the little Phoenix must see a speech therapist. We cant seem to get away from his speech delay. after doing some reading, i have found that crystal children seem to have exceptional visual symbolic skills. Meaning crystal children can recall their ABC's and 123's. Amazing. Phoenix has known his letters and numbers for a while. Oneday, Phoenix's father caught him one morning saying his letters. But he cant talk. He can say and recall at random all 26 letters of the alphabet. Now at two years old he can not say but 15 words max.
I know their are more crystal mothers out there. Just like me. Raising a crystal is a gift, but it is definately has it challenges. My biggest challenge is trying to get through speech therapy. Phoenix has his own language. he sounds like a whale singing a song.
lately it seems he has been a magnet for senior citizens. Mostly, senior citizens want to touch his golden blonde curly hair. but once the Phoenix locks his eyes on them, they just want to talk and play with him. Phoenix usually tucks his head down low, and will push the person away after a period of time. I guess he just had enough. And he Never ever speaks to anyone.

Whispers i dont wish to hear

a call to my granny leads to tears
my paw paw does not feel well today.
i dont know how old he is maybe 75.
i know i will be seeing him soon.
my fear is could it could be my last time i lay eyes on him.
i drift to the Land of faire as i am so teary.
i hear the whispers, the Blue lady says at least you know child
the phoenix comes to play with my hair to make me feel better
i have been told to listen to my whispers
i have heard some of the most beautiful whispers in my lifetime.
whispers of a true love, a child, what is real or not real
there are whispers i wish i would not hear from the Blue Lady.

in her i know i am one

child of mine

i feel spring trying to show its warm face, i saw you, what's it all about?
you will get your way, my roses have bloomed
who would believe it

my Phoenix has grown so much through the winter.
his long blonde curly hair reflects in the yellow sun
every rock must be picked up
ants and snails are his favorite.
there can be no doubt
he cast his spell when he steps outside
the birds come to pay him a visit
who would be believe it

i remember you in dreams
the child of mine
you were conceived not once,twice, but three times.
the eyes of the gods have been watching over you

we live in a house full of spirit
you laugh and giggle, for no silly reason.
who could be tickling you

the Phoenix is happiest when he beats his Drum


in her i know
i am one